Navigating Toxic Friendships: A Journey of Self-Awareness and Balance
Brad Smith and I delved into the concept of toxic friendships. Many of us have people in our circles who are effectively toxic energy suckers, who don’t serve us well. It’s quite difficult to distance ourselves from them. So, how do we do it? What steps can we take?
This journey was tough for me (Brad). My wife and I had arguments about it. Initially, I didn’t agree with her, which made me feel like an idiot. I thought I could change things for the better, but that wasn’t the case. My wife was dealing with emotional challenges, and being around our friends would heighten her anxiety, anger, and discomfort. She reached a point where she didn’t want to deal with them anymore.
We came across a YouTube video by Alex Hormosi, where he discussed the importance of removing toxic people from his life. He emphasised surrounding oneself with individuals who encourage and uplift, rather than those who bring negativity. This resonated with us deeply.
In our friend group, we had individuals who thought it was funny to make hurtful jokes. They would comment on how bad I looked or make fun of my height. While I tried not to let it bother me, these interactions left me feeling worse. The video made us realise that to reach the next level in life, we needed to surround ourselves with positive influences.
We began evaluating our relationships. We asked ourselves, who makes us feel good and motivates us, and who doesn’t? If someone didn’t add positivity to our lives, we questioned why we kept them around. Was it just for partying or getting drunk? Those activities didn’t build us up; they made us feel worse.
We didn’t cut ties abruptly, but we started to distance ourselves….
Now, we have fewer friends, but the ones we have are high-level professionals and CEOs who inspire us. Friendships that leave us feeling positive and motivated.
I encourage you to try this. Evaluate how you feel after spending time with friends or family. Even family can be toxic. Do you feel uplifted or drained? If the latter, consider distancing yourself.
We’ve taught our nieces and nephews this approach too. They had family members who would belittle them under the guise of joking. We encouraged them to evaluate their feelings after these interactions and make changes accordingly.
So, how did we go about it? Did we just slowly remove ourselves, or did we have conversations? We did both. Having conversations was incredibly uncomfortable for me, but my wife handled it with ease. It’s not in my nature to upset people, but I realised growth comes from uncomfortable situations. We told a few friends we were done with certain activities and couldn’t hang out unless they changed. It was awkward, but necessary.
One friend in particular used profanity excessively and constantly made fun of others. This added no value to my life. While I’m not judging him, he wasn’t building me up either. It was time to move on.
There were many we didn’t have conversations with. We simply backed away and changed our hobbies, avoiding those who didn’t align with our new direction.
Navigating toxic friendships requires self-awareness and a commitment to personal growth. By surrounding ourselves with positive influences, we can create a more balanced and fulfilling life. If you’re dealing with toxic relationships, I encourage you to take that first step toward letting go and finding balance. It’s challenging but incredibly rewarding.
You can watch the full YouTube clip below