Alex Moore and I, discussed some important wisdom worth sharing for anyone struggling in their relationships
Understanding the Core Needs of Women in Relationships: Clarity, Security, and Vision
One of the key insights I’ve gained about relationships, particularly concerning women, is the crucial importance of clarity, security, and certainty. Many men often misunderstand this fundamental need. They believe that providing financially and being physically present is enough, but there’s a deeper requirement that needs to be addressed to maintain a healthy and fulfilling relationship.
The Mistake Men Make
It’s common for men to become complacent after getting married. They might start indulging in habits that weren’t part of their lifestyle before, like drinking more beer, developing a “dad bod,” or spending excessive time watching sports or engaging in other distractions. These changes can lead to a loss of the clarity and certainty women need in the relationship. The image of the man they once envisioned becomes blurred, and this can cause significant distress and dissatisfaction.
The Vision Women Hold
Women often have a vision of their partner’s potential—a future version of the man they are with. When this vision becomes unclear due to the man’s complacency, it disrupts their sense of security and certainty in the relationship. This can lead to the woman feeling unfulfilled and eventually expressing dissatisfaction, sometimes abruptly. This often catches men off guard because they believe they are fulfilling their role by providing financially.
The Essence of an Attractive Man
A conversation that resonated with me (Alex) was one between Chris Williamson and Dr. Robert Glover on Williamson’s podcast. Dr. Glover shared a profound insight: the essence of an attractive man is someone who knows what he wants, knows how to get there, and enjoys the journey. This statement struck a chord with many because it encapsulates the idea that being attractive isn’t just about physical appearance or financial success; it’s about having a clear purpose and enjoying the process of achieving it.
Beyond Providing: Being a Leader
Many men fall into the trap of believing that their primary role is to be the provider. They assume that as long as they bring home the money, they can relax and let their partner handle everything else. However, this mindset can lead to laziness and a lack of leadership, which are detrimental to the relationship. True leadership involves being actively engaged in the relationship and continuously working on self-improvement.
Communication and Self-Evaluation
I’ve been fortunate in my relationship to have open lines of communication with my wife, Paula. She feels comfortable bringing up issues, and I can then self-evaluate and make necessary changes. This ongoing dialogue helps prevent the build-up of resentment and ensures that we address problems as they arise. It’s vital to recognise when you’re not meeting your partner’s needs and to take proactive steps to improve.
Remember: For your Relationship to Thrive
Understanding and meeting the core needs of clarity, security, and vision in a relationship is essential for long-term success. It’s not enough to simply provide and be present; men need to actively engage, lead, and continuously strive to be the best version of themselves. By doing so, they can maintain the trust and admiration of their partner, ensuring a strong and fulfilling relationship.
Watch the full YouTube clip below